THE EQUALIZER 3 (USA, 2023) With Chris Gau

Simon is joined by writer/comedian and fellow former Kilburn dweller CHRIS GAU to discuss why Robert McCall is interrupting his Italian vacation to equalize anyone is his way in THE EQUALIZER 3 directed by Antoine Fuqua and starring Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning. >>>The Equalizer 3 Trailer <<<

Outside of this Equalizing we've gone absolutely nuts for Equalizing and rewatched the first 2 movies in this series, so it's an Equalization-heavy treat. We also popped THE BEAR and GIRI/HAJI into our eyes.

TRAILERS (PARK):
Boy Kills World leaked trailer
King of Killers (2023) Official Trailer - Frank Grillo, Alain Moussi
Rebel Moon | Official Teaser Trailer | Netflix

The show's got a Twitter: @dodgethispod and so does @simonfeilder // Instagram: @simonfeilder // and website simonfeilder.com
See what Simon is watching on LETTERBOXD and LIKEEEE AND SUBSCRIBEEEE to his Youtube channel!!!!
Chris is hard to find online but follow him on LETTERBOXD too

Affiliate Links:
Hosted by Buzzsprout & recorded in Riverside.fm
This will help you watch all the international treats: nordVPN

If you're reading this far,  you have 9 seconds to rate (and review) this pod on Apple or Spotify plz&thx?

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

0:02

You understand what happens now. I understand weakness. I understand pain. I nearly stood up in the cinema and shouted at the screen. I love the way Robert McCall turns up to work the next day after that. Ha ha ha! You have to decide your fate. Got your aim. You can call it the art of fighting without fighting. Stick around. Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate up here. Dodge this. Welcome to Dodge This, action movies unleashed. We're into Seethen, Seethen three, as it's now called. I want to say we're balls deep into the season, but it's probably only a couple of episodes in spoiler alert. We may have recorded these out of order. I'd like to give you a little peek behind the wizard's curtain and there's your first one. As you know, this season we have recruited a ragtag band of mercenaries. to help me explore the international world of action movies. And we're in for an absolute treat this time. His first appearance on the podcast and fingers crossed his last. It's a man who you could describe as less. I'm going to see what his face does. Reactions wise, you could describe him as a comedian, an improviser, a writer, actor. No, we've got to know for an actor. His name is Legally Chris Gow. And illegally also Chris Gow. Is it also illegally? Is it Christopher Gow? It's Christopher and you have to put the emphasis on the t. Like Chris Christofferson. Yeah, that's exactly why I'm named after him. Chris, hey, welcome to the podcast. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This is an absolute dream to talk with my pal about movies for a- An extended period. Can't wait. It's gonna be great. Literally, I'm gonna be really nerdy, so I'm just putting that up at the front. You are in the exact right place for that sort of behaviour, my friend. Listen, I haven't even mentioned what movie we're talking about yet, let's do that. It's the Equaliser 3, starring D-Dub's Denzel Washington. It's the threequel to the Equaliser 1 and 2, I'd imagine most people would know that. It's the re-teaming of... Director Antoine Fuqua with Denzel. I think the whole, the whole team is back. Um, we've got a lot to get into about that, but before we do, it's probably best if we find out a little bit about Chris. Chris, I've known you for a while, but I don't think we've ever like super nerded out about movies. So I'm quite excited to do that. You basically popped into my head for this podcast because, and I don't know if I only recently realized you're on it or... you only recently got on it, but Letterboxd. You're on Letterboxd and are you trying to watch a movie a day this year? At least a movie a day. Tell me what's going on. I think I've already done that. I've already done 365. I think I've already done, if not, close to. So basically what happened was, in lockdown... any story that starts in lockdown is going to be good. Yeah, just some maniacal obsessions. But I was like, oh, I love movies. I'm a big movie nut. Love movies. I've seen The Godfather. I've seen Shawshank Redemption. The main ones. Yeah. I was like, I really know about movies. I thought, yeah, I know about movies. And like had loads of geeking out on stories. But then I looked at the sight and sound top list of a hundred movies as voted for by like a thousand creatives, directors, writers, whatever. And I looked at the top hundred and I was like, I haven't seen like at least half of these. Like maybe a third of these I've watched. So during lockdown, I went through the hundred BFI list and it was great. I was like, oh yeah, these are really good movies. It turns out. Yeah. It turns out that some people definitely know what they're talking about. And then I just got sucked into the rhythm of it and I just got really passionate about movies again. Like, I'd always been passionate about movies, but now I'm now just deep, deep... Now that I'm in it, I'm in it. And like, I watch a hundred best movies and now, like the year later, I was like, what about all those trash movies that I absolutely love? Like, all the B movies. I'm going to watch all the ones I've never watched of those. And now it's just like, it's such a habit now. It's quite easy to watch a movie a day if you're commuting. I'm in London. 45 minutes there. If you're commuting? Yeah. Where are you watching them? Are you watching them on your phone? Is that how you're enjoying The Godfather? On Nokia 3210? How it's meant to be seen, Simon. We all know Scorsese loves people watching his movies on phones. But also, I also, much to my wife's absolute horror, have bought a Blu-ray player and now have started buying for your... I'm middle-aged. Are you a collector now? I'm middle-aged. I, what I am, I don't feel like I'm a collector, my wife might disagree, but I'm trying to buy movies that you can't find anywhere else. That's smart. Yeah. I kind of get that. Yeah. And the deeper you get into it, the harder the drug has to be, so the more obscure things you're looking for. And then some of those are just available on Blu-ray. So I'm also watching it on my big TV at home. Nice. I do feel like that feels like the gateway drug to obsessively collecting physical media, right? Like, no, I'm just buying the ones you can't get on Netflix or they're not on streaming, and then like, you know, that sort of happened with DVD, didn't it? And then Blu-ray came out and you're like, no, I'm just re-buying the best ones, you know? And then you see those pictures of those people whose entire walls are just physical media. And I'm like, god damn. You saying that my wife, Jay, somewhere in London now is just a shiver has just gone down her back. Screaming. We've just moved into a new place and I've already earmarked a whole wall for my- So much shelf space. Yeah. As I call it, my library. Oh God. What I did find very interesting about your letterbox, and you have sort of half answered this, but maybe that was the during COVID period. So the post COVID- Top 100. Things caught my little nerdy movie eye, because, as you may or may not know now, since I've commented on your letterbox, I'm a huge fan of Asian action cinema, grew up watching loads of Hong Kong action movies, and I noticed things like Johnny Toe movies popping up. And I was like, what list are you working your way through? Mubi? How are you...? picking out these movies to watch. How have you suddenly watched three Johnny Toe movies in a week? Yeah. Yeah, basically I realised like when I was younger, I was obsessed with like martial art movies and like action Hong Kong, now I know are Hong Kong action movies. But when I was a kid, I was just like yum yum, give it, give it, give it, give it. And I sort of just forgot about them. Like I forgot how much I loved them. And then by chance I watched, I can't remember, something sent me off down this wormhole. Like, almost like a... Now you earn thirty Blu-rays. Yeah! Literally! And then I just got into this spiral of just catching up on all the last twenty years worth, and yeah, I just watched one, and they're like, perfect movies for me. As much as I like Eight and a Half by Fellini. Like, really, what I want is a ninety minute movie of someone just pummeling the shit out of someone. And... You have come to the right place, my friend! But what I love about all those like Johnny Toe movies, is that how you say his name? I don't even know. God, terrible. I believe so. They're just so like lean. It's not that they're, they're like vacuous or empty. They're just lean. He knows exactly. It's just like one clear story, very simple story. And it's just exciting. And they're all 90 minutes and they just, there's no fat on them. And that is like a perfect movie. Like all the best movies are around generally 90 to 100 minutes on. We've talked about this in the past a lot, like movie length creep, how, I suppose... Well, I don't know if it is the advent of streaming and the fact that you can just sort of pick it up halfway through. Maybe it is. I mean, that said, Oppenheimer's made a lot of money and we all managed to sit through that. Well, I didn't go for a wee and I'm notorious for loving a wee. But, um, I... That's how we met, isn't it? The urinals. Yeah, urinals. I nearly said urinals. Cause I've had to, cause I've spent so much of the last few years talking to Americans, I've had to translate words like, like urinal. After a while, you just can't be like, yes, we say urinal. I know it's mad to you that you've never heard that. Yeah. Like even saying the word water sometimes confuses Americans cause like water? I totally like this. I think we're going to talk about the equalizer later, but like the equalizer trilogy is the symptom of. Like, these could all be 90 minute movies, fantastic 90, but for some reason they're like two hours, the first one is two hours, 20 minutes. It's insane. Yeah, once you get over two hours, I think you've got to have a pretty good reason at this point, right? And the one thing I think that is missing on Netflix is a order movies by length, you know? Or maybe some, maybe, I mean, everyone's Netflix looks different. Maybe there is a... movies under 90 minutes. I would take movies under a hundred minutes. Yeah. Or it knows what the time is because of the device you're watching it on. And it's like, well, you, this will happen in the future. I'm sure you usually go to bed between 11, 11 or 12. It's, it's 10 PM. It's movies that you can, you can slot right in that 90 minute mark. That would be perfect. Think about like Oppenheimer. I haven't seen it, but like. You trust that Christopher Nolan knows what he's doing and there's a reason why it's three hours long. Yeah. But like, I think- Because it's basically like three different movies in one. Right. Yeah. But like most people aren't like, I do think there is, as a writer of TV and films, like I do think there is, like, people care less about it. And so they're just often like flabby. They're just a bit flabby sometimes. And like- They could all be edited beautifully. You don't need like, I'm sure we're going to talk about this later, but there's like loads of sequences in these three movies where you're like, I like them, but you don't need them. Did we need it? Did we need the holocaust side quest? Some people argue no. Categorically no. I think we can agree that's a no. We'll get to it. Chris, alright, we've touched on it a little bit, let's just bring it into present day since we do try to sort of keep this podcast vaguely current. Let's keep it 90 minutes. Another chat that Matthew and I have had a lot is when we started this, let's keep it no 45 to 60 minutes, you know, and then every single episode just creeping and creeping because we had too many side quests. Outside of watching all of the equalizer movies, what else is... popped up on your media radar of late that might be worth a look. ALICE Are we talking action movies here? JUSTIN No, this can be anything. You've got carte blanche right now. This is your 8 and a half Fellini section. ALICE Yeah, I am way behind the times, guys. And I have just watched The Bear. Have you seen The Bear? JUSTIN I've seen Season 1 and I'm currently watching Season 2. ALICE That is great. It's really good, everyone is lovely acting at a storm, it's really funny, it's quick. I love it. They're just doing so much acting in that. Yeah, love it. Good old actors, being actors. I will say this, you can't watch it if you're a little bit stressed out or have a headache, I would say, because it's quite a lot of shouting for 25 minutes. It's a bit like drinking five coffees and doing a line of coke, I would say, watching that, for sure. How far along are you? Just finished season one. Okay, so you've seen the one take episode. Oh, beautiful. That was... Absolute. Pun intended. Chef's kiss. Yeah. And I'm not obsessive about the technical... I like things to... if you're directing something, people disappear. I don't want to know that the director's being all flashy, but that was a perfect example of a really good one-er. Yeah. Where you're totally involved... I only noticed it was a one-er halfway through, which is amazing. That is a real actors acting exercise, isn't it? That is a real like, I've come from the theatre, I think I can manage 25 minutes in a row without making any mistakes. Thank you. Take 406. Please meet your marks, Derek. But I don't actually watch a lot of TV and I've worked out why. I was watching loads of TV in the old days, but since the pandemic... Every story starts with... I know. Since the pandemic. But, we all... It changed us all in different ways. Yeah. Me in a really nerdy way. But I think... I just like a story to be wrapped up. I just realised what it is. You could sit down and consume a story with a movie and then that's... You're done. It's not like some, like, ah, seven seasons of this that I've got to trull through. It's intimidating sometimes, isn't it? When people are like, of you... watch Breaking Bad? Yeah. Have you watched Better Call Saul? I haven't, I haven't really dipped into, you've got to watch it, mate. It's like, it's like 50 hours. It's like homework at some points. Yeah. There's a part of me that is delighted to some degree when a show is only a season or two. And also I think like the way often that we talk about these shows is, oh, it's been cancelled. It's been cancelled. They never say it wasn't renewed. And I find that does irk me slightly because it's sort of, it's almost like a pejorative way of like, so I was a piece of shit, so I cancelled it. I'm like, there's actually loads of things that just ended and it was probably alright. Would I have liked another series? Maybe. But as long as it's not, you know, lost or one of those, like, I don't know if I think of it really obscure, flash forward, a show that just like fully doesn't tie up and get and doesn't get renewed, and then you're like, well, you have wasted my time. You have wasted my time. Yeah. 100%. And you just- Enjoyed the journey, but I wanted closure! Yeah. And Lost was really bad at that, wasn't it? Where they just go on and on. I mean, J. Abrams has talked about it, I think, and the other writers- It's pronounced J. Abrams. Sorry. Y-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A We didn't really know what we were doing. Just kept going. Which is sad and real. I've just remembered, actually, one good TV show that I have watched and I'm- maybe this has crossed your path, because it's a couple of years old and I finally got on it on Netflix. Giri Haji. What? No, nothing at all! Oh, this is great, we'll pop it on your list. It's like- It's a, I think it was a BBC co-production with Japan about a show about a Japanese detective from Tokyo who comes to London and then sort of, there's Kelly MacDonald from Trainspotting. Literally one of my favourites. Love Kelly MacDonald. I'm pretty sure she's done stuff in between, but obviously if you're of a certain age, she's probably cemented from Trainspotting. Yeah, really, like, a very interesting piece of drama that does... Some would argue probably too much. It tries to be so many things, and it had one of the... I don't want to spoil it, but it had one of the most extraordinary final episodes of TV that I've seen in a long while. But very... Highly recommend that. Check that out. Netflix. ALICE That feels very much in my wheelhouse. That hundred percent. No Country for Old Men is also a Kelly MacDonald. Which is my favourite film. Oh well, I have seen that, and I didn't know she was in that. And that is almost certainly in the list of 100 top movies that you've done during Covid. Is it not? No. That feels like the sort of one of those gateway movies where people go like, you don't know if you've heard of this movie called No Country for Old Men? I would say I'm not a huge Coen Brothers fan, but that is one of their more accessibles. And, the problem, I should probably preface that all my opinions for the next hour, I've watched so many films now, I pretty much like most films now. It's mad. Because I'll watch it, and I'll be like, I'll watch it on its own terms, which I didn't used to do. I'd like compare, like, Broken Arrow with John Travolta to, you know what, I dunno, No Country for Old Men. But you can't! You just have to watch it for what it is. And like, I'm a lot better at that. I mean, I still have an opinion. That is sage wisdom, actually. Because I, in spite of the fact that I have a podcast about very often niche movies, you know, DTV movies, niche foreign stuff that most people... I will still be annoyed about things where I'm sort of not approaching it on its own terms and I want to get better at that. So thank you for that handy reminder. You can approach it on its own terms and still have an opinion though. Like, is an action movie doing its action-y thing? You can still be like, no, it's not. Or like this movie we're going to chub out eventually. Sometimes you're just like, what the fuck is this doing in here? Do you know what I mean? Right. If we have any chance of keeping this podcast under an hour, which I'm putting my money down we're not, let's head into what some people refer to as the trailer Just to clarify, you call this part the trailer part. Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. Now you got any thoughts on that? Well, yeah. It doesn't feel like it's the most original. I don't think I'm the first person who's said that. Yeah, just not, not just the trailers you haven't thought about. The trailers to the feature presentation. Or whatever like that. Feels like it's off game, if anything, calling it trailer part. We've gotta pad the podcast out with more words. possible to get it to the two hour mark for those streaming numbers. All right. We've got three trailers to get to. Let's smash through these. This one, the first one on the list, it popped up a while back in our little interseason break. It's Boy Kills World. And I think I've sort of put it in because I think it premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in this week as we are recording. So it felt like vaguely relevant to sneak it in. I suspect it hasn't got a real trailer because it hasn't got a distributor, hence it was being shown. I doubtless it's been picked up and will almost certainly be on everyone's radar soon. Intrigued as to how the trailer leaked probably doesn't matter. Any initial thoughts on this, Chris? It's a Skarsgard and he is really, really duffing up a lot of people. Yeah, this is probably my favourite trailer of the three. This is the one that intrigued me the most. had Sam Raimi and latched to it. And I was like, he knows how to have a good time. Like, it might not be like, particularly genre bending or anything, but he knows how to have a good time. And you have a good time in that movie. And like, all the action sequence in it, at least looks like different and fun and absurd. You know what you want? Loads of blood. I don't know how you would, I would sort of describe it as a post kick-ass vibe. The Kingsman, you know, like a sort of slightly arch tone, slightly hyper violent approach to the action. And I would say I'm kind of bored of those movies in general. I don't like meta stuff that much anymore, but I thought of the lot, at least that it just looked, there was like some interesting action sequences and like, it just looked It did look fun. Yeah. I think it's definitely gonna be worth a look. And again, I think your point about coming to it on its own terms is gonna be high up in my mind on this one. Yeah. Am I gonna give it three stars? Yes. Yeah. Whatever it is. I know I'm gonna give that movie three stars. But sometimes three stars is alright, right? Sometimes that's exactly what you want. And I think this is a point that's probably gonna come up several more times. Hundred million... This is what I wanna talk about with the Equinizer. But yeah. Alright, let's move on. The second trailer, I put this in because I do like to shine a light on movies that probably won't arrive on most people's TV screens, or as you know, your telephone screen on your commute. Some classic DTV stuff. I watch them on my Tamagotchi, generally, just for that immersive experience. Yeah. I'm so intrigued. On your scientific calculator. Was it DTV movies? This look like, I was like- Well, it used to be direct to video, but it's direct to streaming now, right? Direct to digital. Yeah, like, how do these, do they just bring them under budget and just sell them and people who are like learning how to direct jump in on them and reproduce by someone? I have so many of those questions, yeah. I really, me and Matt have talked about this ad infinitum where like- You do sometimes hear interviews with stars and directors of these movies, but it's very rare that they are fully open and upfront about stuff. For obvious reasons, everyone wants to keep working and there's investors and you can't be fully... You can't be like, well this guy fucked us over so we had to do it for a lot less money. But Scott Adkins, I don't know if you're aware of Scott Adkins, I think you are, right? The... Brit kicker and DTV legend, Scott Adkins. He's produced a couple of low budget movies in the last few years and has, he's sort of spoken quite openly about just the like, the difficulty of raising under 2 million to make a movie and that sort of thing. And I think it is that it's international sales, it's like pre-sales, it's all, but the whole world of producing DTV movies seems like it is a real graph. Yeah, 100%. Like, I watched something, this is ages ago, it was like a Keanu Reeves, must have been a DTV, and it was something like Siberia or something. And, me and my mate Sunil were watching it. And I picked... fuck you not. It had 16 production companies attached to it. You know when the names come up? We started counting them after three we were like in hysterics. China. Yeah. And they were like, Globos International, West End, West End introductions, Milky Way entertainment. And they just kept, it was like a sketch. Just like, there's so many. And you're like, please, if you give us over 10 grand, you will get your production company up top. Yeah. 100%. And there's just money laundering, presumably, a lot of us. It has to be, right? It has to be, to some degree. Tax breaks and yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fully, fully. And that's what's intriguing about these. And also, and this one I put in because A. I think it looks alright. I think it's actually has come out in the last week as we're recording. So I will watch it. The thing that comes up a lot, and I feel like I hate to keep repeating myself on this podcast, but the trajectory of Frank Grillo, the actor over the last five years I would say is intriguing to me because he has been in some big A-list movies, but At the moment he seems to be carving out this little niche as the best thing in every DTV movie that he's in. And this one seems like no different. I love to watch him. I think he's great. ALICE So, I watch, I don't know if you've seen this, but have you seen The Grey? RILEY The Liam Neeson movie? ALICE Yeah. I watched that the other day. And I was like, he's in that, Frank Grillo. RILEY Is he? ALICE Yeah. And I was like, I was watching The Grey, I was like, this should be terrible. But it was, like, so well done. It's alright, innit? Yeah. It's a good fucking movie. I don't know why more people aren't talking about it. Because it's about a wolf, so everyone's like, nah, fuck it. It's really well directed. Frank Grillo is great. I've not heard quite so much hate on The Grey. I think that's one of, like, Neeson's better latter day movies. You haven't been on, like, the farmers forums where they're like... In the discords. Yeah. Anything with a wolf! Not interested. Yeah. Or like old sex... Keep shit talking to wolves. We're out here trying to promote wolves. Yeah. Or like some 1920s cartoon babe. Like, it's not really against... Pains wolves. Anyway, King of Killers. It's got Frank Grillo being Frank Grillo. It's got Alan Moosey, who is a kickboxer who's been in a couple of the more recent kickboxer franchise movies, which I have not seen but I've heard are quite bad. I saw that man and I didn't know who he was. And I was like, that guy has to be some martial artist, and his face is very strange, and his acting is terrible. So he must... He has got a lot of face, yeah. But he does got a big old leg on him. Yeah. That doesn't make sense. I'm... this one... Mate, I watch a lot of trailers, and this was an alright trailer. And it puts it into the I will watch it category. Okay, quickly, one more. I've saved the uh... the arguably biggest in terms of budget and marketing spend till last, is Rebel Moon. I'm not sure this is technically a straight up action, but it's Zack Snyder doing his Star Wars? Do you think that's fair say? ALICE I will not watch this movie. RILEY No? It's actually two movies as well, isn't it? And I bet they're both two and a half hours long. ALICE I'm gonna only watch the second half. RILEY I just, I can't get on board with these movies. I know a big... Zack Snyder fan anyway. I mean, I'll probably watch it, woman. I'm lying to myself. To be fair, I've seen your letterbox, mate. The quality control is not that stringent. Yeah, it's not great. I watched Ninja Terminator two days ago, which is fucking amazing. Oh, classic. But like, those sci-fi bloated sci-fi operas, like, for me personally, and not why, I'm not that into them, because they're always like, ideas led and not like, character led, so I find them a bit boring sometimes. And then, they're trying to make you care about... Someone called like a Ablawtan or something. And the Ablawtan's got like a big seagull head or something. Hey, Ablawtan had quite a tough upbringing on the planet Plen. That would be good, but they never talk about their upbringing, so you don't give a shit about them. And then it's always like a resistance against some, and you're just like, Star Wars did this. Star Wars did this. In this trailer, there's people dressed as Nazis, effectively. Yeah. And it's just like... Star Wars did this and they did it really well. Why are you like fucking 40 years ago? Everyone who got watching Star Wars wants to make their own Star Wars, right? But Zack Snyder also like, he needs to learn the 90 minute rule. We should send him a letter. Should we send him a letter? Could we? Is there a fax your director? Yeah, yeah. Fax is such a good way of getting hold of him as well. Yeah. Apparently he only replies to faxes. He's like Bill Murray, you have to call him on the landline and leave a message. I am not, um... I would say I'm not a fan of Zack Snyder, but I'm not a not-fan of Zack Snyder. I think Latter-day Snyder, I haven't liked Justice League and the Batman one. That said, I do like the look of this trailer. It's Snyder being, y'know, Snyder to the Snydeth degree. you expect from him and it's got all the sort of, I hate to say Star Wars-y stuff, but it is that like space opera vibes, which I think like the good ones I do like. I really liked Dune. What's, what's like, yeah. So did you like Dune? I'd like the new, the new Dune. Yeah. Noon. Yeah. Noon. I haven't seen the David Lynch Dune actually. I've only seen the Danny Villeneuve one. I liked it a lot. I, I just really, you know what I'm bored of, I guess, is like, there's like a space battle Dune, where the guys come down and attack this whatever, I don't know, please fill in the gaps. But it's just all in slow-mo with this really ponderous music. It's going to be awe-inspiring, right? So it's like, wow. But it's not, because we've seen it all a hundred million times. And for the people in the movie, it's not awe-inspiring because they've seen a spaceship before. So it's like... It's not exciting. It should be exciting. Like, wow, it should be action packed. Like, if a spaceship comes down with an army and you fight off the army, that should be exciting. Instead, it's like this like, booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'll watch the first one. Unless it comes in over three hours, Zach. We have to, where, we've gotta draw the line somewhere. It's 90 minutes. That's where we draw the lines. That's just very aggressive. Mate, you should watch more DTVs. Some of them come in at, oh my god, I'm gonna, I keep threatening to do a whole episode on Chinese streaming movies that are made specifically for like, watching on your phone on your commute. Some of these things come in at like 79, 80 minutes! Woo! True. They just get in, they get it done, and you get out before you even stop. Incredible scenes. Yeah. I love old film noirs, and like, they must have been churning out film noirs in the 40s and 50s, because yes, a lot of them run at like 69 minutes. And you're like, fucking great. It's not even a feature these days, that is it. That's a short. It's great though. It's great. Alright, I think it's time. That is a lot of preamble, but I've loved every second of it. Let's head through. to the feature presentation. Or as I like to call it, the feature park. All right, we're in the multiplex. I don't know where you watch this. I watched this in a, actually I watched this, haven't mentioned it so far on the podcast. I'm in Mumbai in case people didn't know Chris is in London. I watched it in quote unquote IMAX. It said it was IMAX, but I think it might have just been a really big screen because IMAX is like a slightly different aspect ratio, isn't it? And it wasn't, it was regular. Anyway, I took a punt, I sat in the backest of the back rows and it was just a very big screen. I feel like that story could have had a better ending. I watched it in Stratford Picture House, which is like a boutique cinema in London, but it has seen better days. Oh no. It was once a boutique. Yeah. And I saw it in the afternoon, exactly how you should see the Equalizer 3, which was in a basically empty cinema with three middle-aged men, me included, in that three. And that is what this movie is. This is a dad movie. It is. And that exact setting was almost the exact same way I saw the movie, like in the daytime, in a cinema that could hold three, two, two hundred people. with a handful, a handful of them in there. Just having a bloody great time. We forgot to mention in the other things we've seen outright, but I watched this movie in the cinema and then there was maybe, you know, there's been a week since I've seen it. You saw it yesterday, if I'm not mistaken. And in that week, you said, oh, I'm going to watch the first one again. And then I noticed, oh, the first one's on Netflix. Maybe I'll give it a look as well. And then Netflix going to Netflix. They know 3 is coming out. They've put one and two on there, haven't they? And then I've taken your lead and I've watched one and two this week after having watched three. So we are so chock full, we are fully equalised at this point. Yeah. We've definitely equalised. And I will say this, I watched the equaliser twice before and this third time again, it was like watching it anew because I couldn't remember a single thing about it. number two even more so. All I could remember was the end, vaguely, that was in a hurricane. And that was here. So it was like watching it anew. Same. I think that's quite an interesting point, which maybe we'll circle around to, is that from the first two, the only thing I remembered was the finales. And from this one, did you not remember it? Did you not remember the finale? I think... I think this sums up what is really fun about all three movies, but also equally shit about all three movies. Which is, they're all three star classics in that they are so watchable, you sit down, you watch them. Cause they do what they say on the tin. Denzel is incredible, it's slickly directed, and they just rattle along. But they are completely forgettable, really. Is that fair to say? My gut reaction is no, it's not fair to say, and I want to sort of defend them, but I feel like two sentences ago, I literally said I couldn't remember anything about the first two. So, so I think like you, you are correct. And before we get into three, I will say like, I really like all of these movies. In fact, I'm glad I revisited the first two because I think the first one, I gave it four stars on Letterboxd and I gave number two, three and a half stars on Letterboxd. know, not to get too far ahead of ourselves. I also gave number three, three and a half, I think. But probably for sort of different reasons. Mason. I want to defend the three star classic as well. Like, three star sounds like a bad thing. It sounds like, oh, well that's mid-range. But like, a three star movie. I mean, these are three star classics. They're really well made. a really great piece of art stays with you. And the fact that you, you know, even five years later, and I'm not knocking it. I'm really, it's like a delicious, it's like a delicious hamburger. They're delicious. You have to approach it on its own terms. Yes. And this, but these are three star clusters. Every year that it's on channel five in the next 10 years, you'll flick over and you go, I just watched 10 minutes of this. And then you will watch the entire two hour, 20 minute movie. And that is a testament to how well made these movies are. So you're a four star, I see and I hear it. I think the first one is the best one. But let's get into three first and then we can sort of pick each of them apart and talk about the various facets of them. Usually, Chris, I like to foist the plot sum up onto our unsuspecting guest, because I'm not very good at it. I can do it. Other people are better at summing these movies up than me. So can you give the sight and sound, not the full spoilery version, but the breakdown of the plot of Equalizer 3? So, I think it's called Robert McColl is the equalizer played by Denzel Washington. And he is an exed, some sort of CIA operative who's retired, presumed dead, he's faked his own death back in 1 and 2. And what he does day to day, much like the old TV show, is he writes wrongs a bit like a one-man A-team, and absolutely murders people in very disturbing slasher movie ways, but for good people who have been wronged in some way. So they could be from old concentration camp victims looking for their... Old art assistant. He's got his team side. He started with the best bit. rescuing child prostitutes from a world of absolute pain, and he does that in the murders. Russian Mafia. Yep. Russian Mafia. In this edition three, we start- You nearly said episode. Yeah, because it feels like it, doesn't it? So, this one, it starts in Italy as he's on a mission to right a wrong that we don't know about, and in the process he gets badly injured and has to recuperate- when an Italian cop, an Italian doctor help him out and he recuperates in a small town in the middle of the Amalfi, is it Sicily or the Amalfi Coast? I'm not quite sure. Sicily, I think. Sicily. And as he recuperates, he learns what life's all about again and he finds a path to redemption, but then classic. These simple folk in an Italian village are terrorised by an Italian mafia gang, and he has to come out of retirement one last time to absolutely fuck the shit up out of these mafia people. He equalises the shit out of these guys. Is that a fair summation? Yeah, that is a fair summation. And I think what stands out from that summation is that this is probably the most linear, of A to B simple plot. There is a sort of B plotline involving Dakota Fanning as an FBI agent that, I mean, it's fine, isn't it? It's fine, but I don't know if it adds a lot to the equalizing. I, that was my main problem with the movie in that anytime we got away from this lovely, say, contained Western, basically, where Denzel Washington is getting rid of the bad guys who've come into town. It was kind of like, it wasn't boring, but it was like completely unnecessary. Because the thing you like about these movies is Denzel Washington is so watchable and charismatic, such a good actor. You just want to see him avenge and equalise at like any time it departed from that. It was kind of boring to be honest, really. Like you don't need any of that Dakota Fanning stuff really. I feel like while it is an equalizer movie, no questions asked. There's equalizing, there's Denzel, it's directed by Antoine Fuqua. It checks all the boxes for equalization. It sort of comes at it from a slightly, it's got a different vibe. It has a sort of, I'm getting too old for this shit, sort of retirement vibe. And I hope this is the case. But it... feels like the end of this run of equalizer movies. It's like the double-edged sword of, well, I enjoyed it. So I imagine a lot of other people did. So if it makes enough money, you know, Denzel's made three of them. Who knows what's fueling his desire to make sequels when he never usually does. But like as a, as a sort of, as a bookend to the trilogy, it feels quite nice. Like he feels older. He's a bit slower. He doesn't really want to be equalizing. He just wants to enjoy his cup of tea and some pizza and pasta and the beautiful views. And I think that, I mean, it's geographically, you know, different is visually different. The others were set in Boston. This one is, you know, seemingly filmed on location in Sicily. So I think from the off, the whole thing is a slightly different vibe. It's a little bit slower. Like you say, it does feel like a Western in a way. This sort of. You know, Drifter rolls into town and tries to save the beleaguered locals from the ne'er do wells. And I thought it was, I thought the first half of this movie was the best of all three, actually. Just like Denzel's Italian holiday. Yeah, but what I liked about it is the one flaw, well, there's a few flaws, but one of the flaws of their two first movies is you never feel like... Denzel is in any danger, really. He's so invincible. There's no, like, there is the hero in trouble. The only part of, in, like, one, like, the Dark Knight of the Soul is... I mean, there aren't any, really. There's never any danger. And at least this one, he started hobbled. At least you were like, oh, can he do it? He's old, he looks old, he's playing it older. But that made it at least, like, vaguely interesting. I mean, then they're just abandoned in the second half anyway and he's invincible. But there was the promise of that, I thought, which was good. It's true, isn't it? Because I think, like, the... As you say in the first two, he is sort of untouchable for the most part. Like there's quite a good scrap in the Home Depot spin-off store at the end of the first one. where you're like, Oh, you know, and he is noticeably younger. And he, I mean, I'm sure he's doubled a lot and perhaps we'll get into this in a bit, but there's a bit where you're like, Oh, he's actually up against it here against like a hard bloke. Whereas I don't remember anyone really laying a hand on him too much in the second one. And then they don't. And then in this one, he's, so he doesn't really get, doesn't really get touched. Can we just touch on the fact that like he equalizes a lot of people. these three movies. They do. A lot of people. But like, how they set his character up, especially the first two, is that this sort of avuncular, nice old guy who's like looking out for people. And it's very like, oh, I'd like him as my uncle. He's very nice. Like, great. But then in the second half of all of these movies, he's basically Michael Myers out of Halloween. Yes. In one part of one, he hangs a man using barbed wire and then watches him die. positing some moral code in these movies. But what is the moral? They're making a comment about violence, sort of, but they're saying, what are they saying about it? It's so weird. He's like helping people like the A-Team or some old TV show, but then he is absolutely a psychopath. Like if the A-Team were allowed to actually hurt or shoot anyone, it's like the opposite of the A-Team. They were like, yeah. Right, for this reboot of the A-Team, instead of all the bullets going nearby, they're all gonna go through people's eye sockets. Yeah. But it's not even like shooting someone, it's like watching them die. With his cold shark eyes. He does do that, doesn't he? That's sort of his thing. Is like the main guy. He has to watch the life disappear from their eyes at the end. If he was your uncle... he gonna be light round like Christmas, invite him around, cut the turkey, do a few games, and then what, he's gonna pop out, murder your neighbours? Well, I will say this in defence of Robert McCall, he does give everyone a chance. Chance, that is true. He does give them all the opportunity to pack in their mafia, or date rape, or kidnapping ways. To a man, they refuse. Unless you're a henchman, then he doesn't. If you're a henchman, you just get absolutely fucked up. You have things pushed through your eyes. There's no union for henchmen. That's the problem, innit? It's a sad thing. I bet all those henchmen, can I get the choices? I'd like to walk out of there. Nope, I'm putting a bottle through your neck. Sorry, who is it? Robert McCall? No. Did you hear about what he did at B&Q? He used like a fishing- He went through a guy's neck. Not interested, mate. Sorry. There's no money in the world. I love the way Robert McCall turns up to work the next day after that. Like, he's still living in Boston. And his... Like, after murdering all those people at his work, he's still just living in Boston. I'm glad he had a different apartment in the second one, because at the end of the first one, he just goes back to the same apartment and like... Chloe Grace Moretz just goes, oh, I've been popping around the neighbourhood for the last week trying to find you. And I'm like, didn't anyone else have any questions? Yeah, he started shuddling around with his two shopping bags. Like his two Tesco bags. He's meant to disappear in a sort of ninja smoke at the end and then pop up in a different city like Jason Bourne. Apparently not. He's just getting on with his life. It's an incredible scene, isn't it? Yeah, for this one, I think the sort of him ageing thing was quite... Well, the more I think about the beginning, this isn't a major spoiler, but he gets injured at the beginning. But the way that he gets injured, it's like his whole thing is almost OCD level precision. I forgot, in the first one, there's actually a bit where he switches a light switch on and off a bunch of times. I think it's sort of implied. Yeah. And he closes the door closes. Yeah. And you're like, I didn't, I then read into it and he's meant to have OCD, but at no point that across. He just looks like... No. He's very exacting in everything. Exactly. So the fact that after mowing down this entire villa's worth of people, that on the way out he just allows himself to be casually injured. In a way where you're like, yeah. But at the same time, the second he goes, you know, careful, alright, I'm not gonna murder you. You're like, well, I mean, now we know what, come on, mate. You've done enough equalizing to know that you can't trust anyone. ALICE Yeah, surely. Unless that's a comment on him being a bit older and not with it. Which it might be. RILEY Yeah, that's sort of what took me to that point. Yeah. In that he's... ALICE Cause he also, when he does get shot, he then just like flails around and shoots everywhere which I thought was quite fun. RILEY He does! I thought that was... I'd love to know how his idea of that was. That he sort of gets shot in the back and then just shoots and goes in the air like a mad person. Like what an actual 65 year old man would do. That is how you would be surprised, right? You'd be like, oh my god, who's done that now? Unbelievable. Yeah, it's extraordinary. So yeah, I really enjoyed the, and I think this also speaks to why this series is very good, is that Denzel is such a good actor, that there is effectively about an hour, maybe more of this movie where he- does zero equalization, right? There's the beginning, which has the sort of the series MO bit, where it's like he says a thing and then it goes in his eye and he clocks all the things in the room and then we see him equalize everyone to pieces. But then he's just having a lovely time getting to know the villagers in this delightful seaside town and it's... It is delightful to watch. The scenery's beautiful, Denzel's a great actor, everyone around him's like, doing great. It's just sort of like, oh this is nice, isn't it? I could sort of watch this every few years. He goes to a different place, he just hangs out. Yeah. I really like the first half, because like, what they're good at, they do this in the first one, there's like at least half an hour before you equalise anyone. It's like, it's especially effective this fine to the franchise, because you know he's going to equalise the shit out of someone. And then building that tension, will he, won't he, when's he gonna do it, is great. And then when it does happen, there's probably, I'm jumping ahead, but that sequence where he really fucks up those guys who were in the restaurant, that's such a great sequence. It comes out of nowhere, it's really vicious, and it's cathartic, you've been waiting for this to bubble over for ages. Oh my god, there's so much buildup, yes! It is like such a sort of steam release valve. Where he does that sort of... twists this guy's hand in a restaurant in that way, and just tells him, like, I'm pressing this nerve and it's a two out of ten pain scale. And you're like, this is... It's like, you know, it's like, yes! It's like those sort of taken speech levels. Each of these movies has a really good bit where he just, like, says something and just acts it really well. Yeah. And it is the same metric, I don't know if you ever watch slasher movies, but it is sort of working on that same... It's like... Friday the 13th or something, you know that Jason Voorhees is going to just murder a whole load of teenagers in exotic ways. And it's just like, if you don't give me that, then, you know, we all know that it's happening. So just do it and do it really well. And anytime they don't do that, it's a bit boring, this movie. Like, you just want more of the same, Denzel doing exactly what, with a little bit of a twist. This time he's old. This time he's old and he's on holiday. Yeah. And he's like... got that beautiful woman, like, somehow interested in him. Sure. Great. Yeah. I wasn't sure if they were sort of hinting at romance in that, or I was like, are you gonna- Well, yeah. Come on, he is a bit old, and, you know, she kind of ribs him about his tea. Yeah, yeah. Teas for old women and English men. Yeah, yeah. I nearly stood up in the cinema and shouted at the screen, you are right in a way though! Yeah. What I love, one of my favourite moments in this whole movie is we spent- 45 minutes with him in this beautiful Italian town, he's got to know these Italian people and their culture, she takes him out for a meal and the first thing they get is a kebab. They go to a port and she gets him a kebab! Like straight off the elephant leg and he's like, what's this? And she's like, it's a kebab. And you're like... The classic Italian dish. The Italian dish of a kebab. And like, what, he's never had a kebab? And he's wandering around this beautiful port, stuffing his face with elephant leg Dona. Amazing. That was a very, very interesting turn. I didn't see that coming, I have to say. When they rolled up with all the fresh seafood that had just come in from the bay. Yeah. And the guy just had his electric knife in his tray like, ehhh. You want chilli sauce with that? It's like in the first one, there's that bit where he has to go and rescue the people who have been put hostage, and he just gets on a bus. Just gets on a bus to save them. So that was really funny as well. Just pop myself on a bus, wait for the bus. He just operates in reality. Here's what I want to say about the action in this one. In the second one he did quite a lot of equalising, I forgot how much. He's in his little lift, Uber, it's a lift I believe, I can't imagine the bidding war for whether it got to be an Uber or a lift in that movie, whoever sold that to Lyft. Our drivers are absolute psychopaths, that's where that is sick. That's true. But he gets a lovely hold, just like, oh this is great, he's got a new way of finding out about... people who need equalization. It does, does a whole bunch of equalizing. This one, it opens with, you know, don't worry, you're in safe hands. There's going to be equalizing. But then as we say, that's just that massive, massive bit of him recuperating in Italy, which I think works great. And then once the equalization starts, and I read an interesting review of it yesterday that sort of said that it's sort of, the movie sort of ends after the second act and I... And I didn't know how to put that into words, but in the cinema, when it got to the finale, I was like, okay, great, here we go, what's gonna happen? Oh, that's it, oh, that's the end. Oh. A hundred percent. It's like the equalization sort of starts too late in the movie, and then when it does, it's such a short burst after he does the twisty arm bit, he does a good bit of equalization, and then it's... earmuffs if you don't want. If you're cold and you don't want spoilers. Yeah. He kills the guy's brother and then the main guy just turns up to the town and is like, who killed my brother? And then when Denzel just sort of comes out and goes, it was me, just take me away. Like, is he old? Has he just had enough? And he's like, this is how I'm going out. And then that's the sort of bit where he's saved by not himself, right? Like Which I guess is the whole, he's part of the community, the community saves him. But then he's just sort of, then it's just like straight to the finale. And in the previous two movies, that has been like the major set piece of the movie and the first one, you know, it's like Home Alone, R rated in B and Q. And it goes on for a long time and he does all these elaborate, he just hangs a guy with Bob Dwyer, sticks things at people's necks. It's again, it is like the slasher movie side of it. And I remember the second one's finale not being quite as good. And I think that is true, but it is still quite a good finale. It's very ambitious. It's in this like hurricane swept small East coast town and he takes them all out one by one. And this one, it felt like he sort of like, he, it was like, I am become death, you know, like he becomes this like shadowy literal angel of death that just appears, murders everyone in, you know. fairly interesting ways, but as I say that, I can't really remember any of them. And then the main bad guy just sort of gets taken out and then it's like, well, I guess all done. See you later. And I was ready for like more after that. And then that was it. Yeah. How it was paced, it felt like there was going to be one more big bad at the end of it or something. But I think that's the problem with all three of these movies a little bit is because, I think we've touched on this. Because there's no actual stakes, there's no actual stakes whether he lives or dies. And you never feel that he might live or die. You don't care about the outcome. And the secrets in the B&Q is at least fun. It's the best of the three, I think. And also to that point, there are other people in Jeopardy. You just sort of remind me, in the B&Q there's other people there. In the second one, there's the kid. they've kidnapped. Whereas in this one, he's just like, right, well I'm just going to go to their house, kill everyone, bish-bash-bosh, back for a kebab. ALICE Exactly. But even those steaks are like, felt, even in one and two, at least there's some steaks, but even then they feel a little manufactured. By three there's nothing. There's no steaks at all. There's not even, like you say, he just appears and just sort of trundles his way through a killing spree. But at no point is he even... You don't get that sequence where the big, huge guy wrestles with him for like five minutes. There's nothing. Like, that's the thing with the second one as well, it's all like, it's him versus a sniper. There's no like, you never feel under... It's a bit distant. Literally, and figuratively. And this one, I think even more so, because it was just him sort of creeping around a mansion like Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers and sort of appearing behind someone. slashing them, or literally popping out from the shadows at one point. ALICE I know this is like a small thing, but like the geography of how it's directed, you don't even know that big bad guy lives in the town. Like, he lives in the town because he staggers out of the house. Spoilers. But like, he staggers out of the house and then he dies in the street in front of the people of the town. You don't even know he lives there. Like I don't remember that. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, well, that's the effective part of it. If you are going to do that, but they don't ever set up that he lives there. And he's like, there's, I don't know. I just thought it was a bit lazy to be honest. The second half of this one was just felt quite lazy. I thought it's interesting that isn't it? And I think like Fuqua You know, he's a solid, very adept director, and a lot of my complaints with movies like this, and especially Denzel's getting a bit older, is like, the editing, or the doubling, and oddly things that I might complain about, I haven't in these movies. There's not like the John Wick long takes, there's not like, oh it's obviously Denzel doing it. It is often sort of these like close-ups of, you know, the corkscrew going in someone's mouth. In that first one. But the direction is handled in such a way that I still quite enjoy that. It's sort of on the surface, like the nature of the action is maybe not to quote unquote my taste, but I think the way it is assembled in these movies makes me enjoy it. Like it's very visceral and I think the kind of like watching his machinations of, I'll go over there. corkscrew in his face, and I'll twist his arm off, and then he goes into the table, and tip-ta-da-da-da-da, everyone's done. And I felt like there was a little bit of that in this, in the sort of opening barrage, like very much so, is exactly what we've expected, and what we've seen in the other ones. But the sort of latter half, y'know, the first bit of equalizing's pretty good, but then in the finale, it's more, it is that more horror film-y, he's like the slasher, who Duffs everyone up a little bit. And I can't really remember how he dispatches anyone at the end. Even the main bad guy, I can't remember. I think like, it's so funny like commenting on someone like Antoine Fuqua, like, cause you're like, well, he's clearly incredibly good at what he does. Like he's literally incredibly good at it. So and I couldn't do it. But there'd be no podcast if that was the baseline. Yeah. But, y'know, I always watch movies now, having made some short films and written stuff. It is so hard. It is so hard. But, he's definitely of that school, he's a bit like Tony Scott, he's just like coverage, he's a coverage guy. He obviously has lots of money so he can shoot from loads of angles, he just shoots it. I often find there's not a lot of like... interesting blocking or thinking about the purpose of shots, I would say. Like, there was one in this one where there's that sequence where you have the old man in the wheelchair and in the background you have the bad guys extorting something like a building out of this couple, and then afterwards you see that man in the wheelchair being chucked out of a window. Yes. That's a good piece of directing, it's not telling us anything. Good foreshadowing. Exactly. And you don't know why. But there's not a lot in general... of that sort of, like, thinking about the purpose of shots, or creating tension like that. It's just, like you say, close-up violence, and pretty, like, long drone shots, and all effective, very slick, you know, that's what you get when you have the best actor, one of the best actors in the world, probably the best team of editors, like, he's like, clearly knows what he's doing, Buqa, but like, it's not like... It does still feel a little like Journeyman sometimes. Well, I think, yeah, I totally hear what you're saying. And yet I think it's sort of, it's almost like a space in movies that exists less and less, the sort of, I mean, I don't think this is medium budget. I think that the first one was like 70 million. So they've probably crept up and up over the last two, right? But those... There used to be so many of them in the 90s of these medium budget action thrillers. And I don't want to criticise too much, because I love these movies, I think they're great and I wish there were more movies at this level. And I think they've tried to do it in different ways in recent years, where it's like, you get the actor, you teach the actor the moves, with your Therons, or Bob Odenkirk in Nobody, And I like that level of movie that's like, it's not so much money that the studio's going to have notes on notes on notes. You know, it's enough for it all to be good and not to sort of have to like cut corners or do all whatever the DTV people have to do just to get the thing finished. And increasingly there's less of these movies. And I think Fuqua is just, he's just right there. You know, he's just... He nails those and he's made three of these movies, made the Magnificent Seven remake, which I sort of remember quite enjoying. I mean, he made Training Day. I mean, Training Day is a fucking stone cold classic. That's a great movie. But like even the Magnificent Seven I watched recently, it's kind of like, it's just sort of quite by the numbers. Like you put a good cast in, you've got a good-ish story. You know how it ends. But like, again, it's just kind of like coverage really. There's nothing. Like, compare that to, let's say, the Grey, which I was talking about earlier, like, I just looked it up just now. The Grey has a budget of 25 million. Wow. Equalizer 70 million, right? Equalizer 3, 70 million. And so with a third of the budget, the director of the Grey has got so many sequences, you know, using direction, not just star power and coverage, to make it like there's a plane crash that is done... You would never guess that they didn't have any money, because he does it so effectively. just using light and various devices. There's a sequence where they jump onto some trees and go across a rope that is so nail-bitingly tense, it's almost unwatchable. And you compare that to the equalizer, where it's just like... There's no flair in that way. There's no actual directing, really, if I'm totally honest. Like, yes, there's people- Well, I do. I think I agree with what I'm saying. Don't put me in a room with Antoine because he's clearly very skilled. I'm not knocking the slickness, but that slickness that you're talking about, sometimes it's just like, well, okay, really good example. At the end of Equalizer 3, you have that cross-cutting between a funeral, like a festival march, an Italian festival march with like a saint, as he kills the people in that house. Which is a straight up rip off from The Godfather, but not in any way as, like, did you even notice that crosscutting? I'm gonna say you probably didn't, because it didn't have any meaning to it. As you're saying it, I remembered it now. Yeah, and it's just like, well, that means it had no purpose being there, like, it had no meaning other than, oh, we need to crosscut something. Do you see what I mean? There's no, like... Sometimes I feel like there's no, like, real purpose behind the duration. It's just coverage. and getting really good people to do their jobs. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you put the equaliser with someone with a bit of, like half the budget, but give it with someone with even more imagination, I think you'd get a really fucking good movie. Like a sort of more of an auteur. Like with a vision. Yeah! But maybe that's my taste, maybe that's just my taste. Yeah. I mean, it would be interesting to know what it would look like in different hands, isn't it? Like if each movie had been directed by a different director. Yeah. Those are always quite interesting, but equally those are sometimes, you know, where they can go massively off the rails. And I think each of these movies had stayed steadfastly on the rails. Albeit I would say that my order of rankings was probably the order that they came out in, I would think. Like I did enjoy three, but for me it did feel a little bit lacking in the action department. Whether that is by design. and them playing into that whole, I'm getting too old for this shit kind of vibe. Maybe so. I mean, I guess we'll find out if there's an equalizer four. They'll be like, oh, actually, we're going to come back out of retirement again. Yeah. The equalizer three was missing that scene in the equalizer one where he f**ks up those Russians in the room. That scene where if that scene comes on TV, you're watching that scene where he goes in and he like... moves those skulls around the desk and then he's like weighing them up, gives them the choice. There's so much tension and excitement in that scene and the cathartic when he absolutely destroys them. But there wasn't that in this movie. It's just lacking a few little... If you're going to give us the taste, that secret sauce that we want, like we've been saying, we just want to see him equalise a few baddies and do it in a dental way. Yeah, staying on the rails is what we want and that's why it's a three star classic. It's very watchable and, but we couldn't remember any of them. I'm not going to remember these players are three. I think, I think for me it was just, yeah, it needed one more set piece. Yeah. Probably in that, in that middle section that, or ramping up the finale so that it felt like we'd earned it. But they sort of gave that set piece almost to Dakota Fanning with that like car sequence and he like, just give it to Denzel. Yeah. Whatever it is. Yeah. I don't know. That's what I thought. He's good though, isn't he, Denzel? He's so good. He's just really good at acting, isn't he? He just acts the shit out of it. Talking of memorable moments, let's wrap it up with an action replay. Chris, first time on the pod, are you familiar with the concept of the action replay moment? I hope so, you've done so much research already. I don't doubt you for a minute. I call it the action replay park. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Good. I'll let you lead the charge on this one then, because I don't know if we're gonna have the same one, because your memory of it is one day old, mine is over a week old, so I've got... I've got slim pickings. Yeah. And as we've established, you've got how this series works. I think the best sequence is the bit where he, which is the closest to the Russian sequence in the first one, is that sequence where he's in the restaurant and he pinches that guy's nerve and then they go out and he absolutely equalizes them one with a van. Yeah, that came out of nowhere, didn't it? I mean, it literally comes out of nowhere. And that was really satisfying. And then he absolutely fucked those guys up. I thought it was great. I think that was my favorite. Okay, good. No overlaps. No overlaps. I mean, in theory there's really only three portions of equalization, I would say, that we're picking from. But the bit that I sort of keep forgetting, because it's kind of... It does influence the plot, but it doesn't, it's this sort of opening bit of equalization, where we're like, what is going on here, what happens? Anyway, there's a bit where it's the kind of textbook equalization, you know, he's talking to a guy, and he's like, this is, well, they've got him back to rights, there's a couple of guys in, and the baddie's opposite him, and then he says the thing, he's like, this guy's stood too close, he's already dead. And then... I don't know if it goes in his eye like it does in the first two, where it's sort of things that's almost that, I don't know, I want to say like fly eye view or like fish eye view where you kind of see it through his equalizing world. Yeah. It's like Robocop. Yeah. Well, he sort of, he predicts what's going to happen. He plans it out and beeps his little stopwatch. They do it in flashback. They do it like they have the sequence and then later you see him remember it in that That's right, yes. I thought that was the case, that they don't actually give you the goods up top, right? You gotta wait for that. So anyway, there's one bit in that where he gets the gun off a guy, and he sticks the barrel of the gun through the guy's eye to equalise him, and then he shoots the gun. He shoots the gun through the guy's head to shoot another guy. I mean, that's the sort of level of equalisation that we want from these movies. Yeah, that was great. I really like that sequence because it was from the other perspective, like you watch the Mafia Don go through the house and you know it's gonna be Denzel. You're like, well how is this gonna work out? And then just seeing him, it was great. I thought that sequence... That's where the first half of this, I was like, this is fucking great. And then it just sort of petered out. I don't want to say, I enjoyed every second. I was not bored in the... There's two main pro- like, I think a movie is bad for me if it's A boring or B pretentious. And it was neither of those things. I just remember a guy gets his hand cut off in this film. In quite a graphic and unpleasant and unexpected way. My question there was like, wouldn't you just, that's like cutting your wrist though, wouldn't he just bleed out instantly? I don't know. But I've never cut off a man's hand. Have you not? So I don't know. Oh you must. You must. You simply must, darling. You simply must. Yeah, I 100% agree with you. I wasn't bored. It was an enjoyable two hours in the cinema. With the other middle-aged men. With the four other... It is a dad movie, isn't it? It's such a dad movie. But I think to call it a dad movie is to almost do it a disservice because it's sort of above a dad movie. There's a lot of Liam Neeson movies of late that post taken are like, this is not good enough, really. Whereas this one is a cut above that, I would say. No disrespect to Neeson, but the combo of Denzel acting great, Fuqua directing in a solid, solid way. All these movies are put together solidly. There's no stuff really that makes me go, what? Why? Apart from the weird Holocaust survivor side mission, which just seems oddly unnecessary. You know, the whole Dakota Fanning sort of side mission. We haven't even really talked about, like, did they just get Dakota Fanning? So the people would go, oh, from Man on Fire, reunited, all grows up. I think so. And then they sort of put a little bow on it on the end that when I watched it, I was like, oh, right. And then having rewatched the second one, I was like, okay, that makes more sense. The sort of reasoning behind his getting her. But you don't need it. It's like in a western, you just want the cowboy to shoot the... That cowboy's with black hats. Yeah, that's it. You don't need that. You don't need any of it. But, I mean, it was fine in Dakota Fanning's good and like... Do you think he's still gonna keep living in the town? Or is he gonna move on? Yeah. Because someone gave him a lemon. An old lady gave him a lemon. That's true. They're making, they're gonna, they're thinking about making a prequel. That's what they're thinking about doing with a younger actor. Interesting. Michael Jordan. Michael... B. Jordan. Uh, that's the next, they think, is gonna... Yeah. That's what they do, isn't it? John Wick. He's sort of getting too old now, but prequel it up, mate. Yeah. Ke Qing. I mean, like I said, I wouldn't be mad if there was one of these movies every couple of years, cause they're a joy to watch. Oh, 100%. You know, two years time, he's in, probably, Shanghai with 20 production company names before the movie. And then he's... Yeah. Get that sweet Chinese box office. And I'll watch him. I'll watch him do it. ALICE I'll watch him. Yeah. Very enjoyable. ROBB I think it's a fitting end, and it would be nice if this, I think, was the end of the Denzel equalizer run. I wouldn't be mad at that. I think it does exactly what it says on the paint tin that falls down to pull a man up by barbed wire in a B&Q in Boston. And that red paint is just his gore. It is surprisingly gory actually for a, for action movie. It does lean into that. I think especially, uh, in this one, very funny, all of them, all of them, very, very detailed close up detail of things. Yeah. They, they go for it. All right. I think we've pretty much covered everything there is to say about all three equalizers. You got, you got two bonus equalizers. Chris, thanks so much for joining us. I hope you will come back. later in the season and chat about some other random movie and I'll pick something really, really left field and obscure next time. What a treat. Yeah, absolutely. Love to. If people want to find you on the internet, and they often do these days, is there a place where they could do that? I do have an Instagram handle, but I don't know what it is. I've never on Instagram. No, don't worry about it. And that is basically all you need to know about Chris Gow's online presence is that... It does exist, but even he doesn't have a login, so probably wouldn't worry too much about it. Uh, see me on Letterbox. Find me on Letterbox. That'd be fun. That'd be fun. I've never done, I've never, I dunno, find me on Letterbox. Chris Gow. Yeah. I think so, yeah. I'll put the link in the show notes. People can find you. That'd be fun. I love to chat to people about it. That's nice, yeah. And you are very, you post everything quite religiously on there, right? I only do it for me. I'm not doing it for any other purpose. Just so I'm trying to remember. when you watch a movie a day, it does blur a little bit. Well, bad luck. You've said it out loud on the podcast that has literally listeners. So, we are gonna see how many- Plural. How many- Plural. That's true. That is true. Alright, that wraps up another episode of Dodge This. Action movies unleashed. Chris, thanks for joining us. Listener, we will see you in a couple of weeks for the next time. We haven't got a new sign out for season two. Chris, any ideas on the fly? Like to put people under pressure to come up with a good sign off? What about Pyaow Pyaow? Pyaow Pyaow? Yep, taken under advisement. See you next time!